Quote of the Day

Don't Lose Hope22 Comments

Reclaim all that you are

“We’re conditioned to believe that our worthiness and power come from being chosen. We meander around, hoping those who surround us would validate our existence and goodness. Your worth comes from choosing yourself, and your worth comes from reclaiming all that you are; to speak, feel, and do without the need for permission, or fear of what others would think.”

Salmal Helal

Your worthiness and power do not come from being chosen. They don’t come from being noticed, affirmed, or treated as special by anyone at all.

You are beautiful as you are. You are beautiful because you are you.

You don’t need anyone to validate you, or give you your sense of value and worth.

Today is the day to believe in yourself, to reclaim your power, and to honour yourself.

You are enough. That’s all.

22 thoughts on “Quote of the Day”

  5. I’m starting to see that I am as ‘important’ as other people and therefore it counts what I say to me or think about me. We do need other people to be a mirror sometimes and we can learn from others but we also play an important part in our own lives.
    Thank you for this quote, it is really nice to read and made a good start of my day!

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    • As you say, we do need others to be a mirror at times but they shouldn’t be the ultimate voices we listen to. And what we say to ourselves is extremely powerful. Thanks for sharing these thoughts 😊

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  6. Interesting how I’ve been using the word “chosen” and it popped up in your post. I have verbalized for quite a while that I never really felt “chosen” by my husband.

    I felt worthy, smart, talented, resourceful, creative, accomplished — and more — from within myself, though. Of course my world blew apart when he confessed, but he was never the type of husband to give praise, or comment on my talents, so I certainly didn’t gain any sense of self-esteem from him; it came from what I did with my own life.

    I’m contemplating why I was (am) so hung up on the word chosen? He chose to stay married and certainly stayed. Almost 26 years. He did choose me. He wasn’t faithful, or the type of husband I deserved (deserve). I suppose I am looking st this in a an either/or way — he couldn’t have chosen me IF he chose paid women and porn. He chose all of it. He wanted me and all of them. I suppose I wanted to be the one and only chosen as that is what marriage is supposed to be.

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    • When we’re in a marriage or committed relationship then chosen means just me. Not me plus a whole lot of other women. It’s mutual choosing and exclusivity. I’m really sorry that as time went on he applied a different definition to chosen. It isn’t what you deserved. It isn’t the way it should have been.

      I’m really glad you already had a sense of your own value and worth. You are still that smart, talented, resourceful, creative and accomplished woman. Never forget that!!

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      • Thank you, DLH. One way I look at my husband’s behavior was that he made choices from a buffet – I was the main course, but he chose “treats” – different deserts through objectification (looks yummy). YUCK. I know that is horrible, but it describes his behavior, which was different than affairs with coworkers or whatever a SA does to act out.

        Yes, marriage *should* be choosing each other with mutual exclusivity. I honestly don’t know the “real” stats of infidelity – I’ve seen different numbers – many say 60% (and that’s if people are being honest). I don’t want to sound like I am saying infidelity is ok by any means. It’s so common, though. It’s disheartening (about the institution of marriage) to think the majority of married people cheat on the spouse. I’m disillusioned about marriage, I suppose. Some therapists say marriage is “choosing” that person every day, consciously. I just don’t know. I’m working through this in my mind.

        Have you heard another statistic about rates of infidelity? Picking your brain, if that’s ok.

        I do know I have many talents and gifts. I’m working on gaining back stamina so I can express myself more (I need more energy). My surgery last fall took a toll, and my reduced larynx capacity (we need oxygen!) limits me, but I’m not giving up.

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      • Thanks for the comment beleeme. There are a lot of different statistics thrown around. This article by Psych Central (which I generally view as being a trustworthy site) say it is much lower than we commonly think: https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-common-is-cheating-infidelity-really/ I’m inclined to believe them. I think there are a lot of people who are mogonomous in their committed relationship.
        Saying that, I’m sure there are plenty of people who would never admit to cheating when surveyed ….

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      • With any statistic, the definition of any word is important. Some guys go to strip clubs and they don’t think it’s infidelity. Some people use porn and they don’t think it’s cheating. Some guys get a “rub & tug” (YUCK) and think it’s fine – just a massage. I consider all of those behaviors (and more) infidelity. Now – a “flasher” – not infidelity. Sexually acting out, for sure, but not cheating. OY. I think I need to get out of this rabbit hole. 😉

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