Trust Me

If you knew

When your trust has been betrayed then it’s natural and instinctive to ask yourself the question, “Should I trust this individual?” Perhaps this is a question you are asking yourself now.

And I’ve often heard it said that ‘nothing’s certain in this world’. We have to take a chance. In life, there are no guarantees.

I understand this point. Be we don’t always blindly trust. We try to be as certain as it’s possible to be. And there are checks and balances in every area of life. These help to keep us safe, and they provide security.

For example:

  • Restaurants must adhere to health and safety regulations.
  • Our different health professionals are required to train for years, and they’re closely supervised before they practice on their own.
  • If we smell gas in our home, and we suspect there is a leak, we want someone who’s certified to check it out for us. We don’t just ask a neighbour or a family friend.

How do we build trust?

1. There’s a quote I came across in a great podcast recently which highlights the components that make up healthy trust. Here’s what it said:

Trust is an active responsible engagement with the unknown.”

This draws attention to the fact that trust is not just an emotion (athough it may include gut instincts and some powerful feelings, too.)

Instead, it’s based on checking out whatever needs to be checked out. And this will likely vary, depending on the person. (For example, was your partner using webcams, or an online dating site, or did they see a prostitute, or have countless affairs? All of these require different checks and balances.)

And you’re absolutely right to want to have safeguards in place. We need to feel secure, or it’s impossible to trust.

2. A second quote I came across is somewhat similar to this. It states:

Trust is the ability to tolerate the unknown.”

Tolerating the unknown is going to be more challenging if you trusted him before, and you were lied to, and deceived.

But even if you’ve moved on, and you have a different spouse, the trauma of the past will still affect the way you feel. We bring our history with us into new relationships.

In both these situations, it’s a choice we have to make … to tolerate the fear that is attached to the unknown. It’s ‘mind over emotions’ when we first decide to trust. But, hopefully, we’ll find that this gets easier with time.

And that’s if we decide that it is wise for us to trust ….

10 thoughts on “Trust Me

  1. ‘Trust is the ability to tolerate the unknown’.
    Excellent.
    These are days when we are all being asked to tolerate the unknown, and of course some people are finding this easier than others.
    What is definitely known, however, is that God loves us, and he is totally trustworthy.🤗

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The hardest thing for me, after having had my trust broken over and over, is to trust myself… which lends to questioning those who trust me (because why trust someone with such questionable judgement). Broken trust, in my life, plays itself out in always trusting the untrustworthy, because it’s the cycle that I know.

    Thank you for this post. It gave me a lot to think about! And a new perspective.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m so sorry that this has been your experience. What you describe is what many of us experience. When we are betrayed many times a lie – it really undermines our ability to trust ourselves and our own judgment. Part of the problem is that we are actually “designed” to trust attachment figures, and people close to us. So not noticing the signs is widely acknowledged as being normal and understandable – even in a court of law. There are some trustworthy people out there, even although that can be hard to believe when we’ve been repeatedly hurt. I hope you find one of those people and are loved the way you should have been loved. Thinking of you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I love the first quote. Trust is needed though; especially in relationships. If there is no trust you might feel protected, but it hurts the one you most are seeking trust from. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

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