See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil

Nobody wants to remember trauma. In that regard, society is no different from the victims themselves. We want to live in a world that is safe, manageable, and predictable – and victims remind us that this is not always the case.” – Bessel Vander Kolk

This is the reason people close their ears, turn their faces away, and choose to close their hearts to those who want, and need, to talk about traumatic things.

And this is the main reason why these people judge and shame you – when you find the strength and courage to speak the awful truth … and say were betrayed, or victimized in other ways.

They don’t want to hear it, and they don’t want to know.

For if it happened to you, then it could happen to them, too.

And that is something they can’t bear to contemplate.

So when they’re cold and judgmental, unempathic, or they’re hostile, know this is the reason: They can’t bear to hear the truth.

But know, too, that you also must protect yourself – for these are not safe people to open up and share with.

Because these individuals will never understand. They’ll always turn their backs, and they will always close their ears.

But know that there are also some safe people out there, too.

These are people who are telling the same story as you.

And these are individuals who will truly understand.

And these will be the people who will slowly help you heal.

And you need to find these people – for your story must be heard.

For you deserve to have it witnessed by those who truly care.

By those who’ll journey with you; who will lead you back to shore.

6 thoughts on “See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil

  1. Wow, spot on! I think this was definitely the most hurtful in my healing journey- people excusing the narcissist in my life without realizing the damage this abuser really caused me. I learned in time, while it’s important to share our stories, some won’t always “get it” or will refuse to acknowledge your pain. Keep telling your story and find those who are encouraging and willing to listen- you never know how your story could impact others for the better who are going through the same thing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I love this comment. It’s important to hold back from the wrong people but not to allow ourselves be silenced either. We need to share with the right people, and to take to heart the truth that sharing with the right people can help, support and encourage them. Thanks Amber! (And I’m sorry you were hurt by people who made your healing journey a lot more difficult).

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I feel this! It’s such a good reminder to me to stay on the journey of healing because there are others out there doing similar work and who are compassionate, understanding and able to share their own vulnerability.


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