“You are not their victim. You are not the victim. You are not a victim. Take back your power.”
It’s hard to recover from the sting of betrayal. The shame and the anguish can feel unbearable. The pain hits you in waves, and it hits you constantly. And at times the grieving process can feel interminable.
And it’s true that your partner is the one who did this to you. They’re the one to blame for all the mess you’re in today.
But please don’t let what happened rule the rest of your life.
Their behaviour is on them.
It says nothing about you.
Please believe you can recover; you can start to live again. Don’t let another person rob you of your confidence. And give yourself some credit for being able to push through, to take control of life, and of the way you see yourself.
Yes, it’s going to be hard, but you know that you can do this.
You can overcome it.
You can find yourself again.
You’re not a helpless victim. This is not your destiny. You’re strong, and you’re courageous.
Stand up tall.
Take back your power.
Don't Lose Hope 
“But man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated.” Ernest Hemingway Yes, living with the aftermath of betrayal trauma is difficult. But, if you’re still alive, it’s not too late. Chin up! Baby steps…
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I love that! If you’re still alive it’s not too late. What a wonderful truth that is. Thanks David!
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My betrayal, well its memory has been removed from the podium.
I have finally regained my memory as a whole and many of the good parts have taken back their place
Life has more calm, trusting others will take a long time but the grasp, of betrayal has lost power for now
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That’s so encouraging to know. Thanks for sharing that Marty!
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Cautiously smiling with my progress.
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This is soooo timely right now as I was just talking to my friend about Ukraine—my ancestors—and the media portraying the people as victims. Stop feeling sorry for them I said! Stop keeping them victims! And how I see it reflected in my own personal life. The opportunity for us all to take back our power…💙💚💛🤍💙❤️
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You have roots in the Ukraine??? Those are strong people! I think the whole world saw that in the 2014 Revolution of Dignity!
With respect to your comment – I agree with you. Those victim stories will sometimes stick, and this can be destructive in the end.
Sometimes we are victimized – Yes! That is absolutely the case. And the fallout can be awful. But we are still stronger than that. We have amazing resiliency and power. It’s important to own that resiliency and power, and not be defined by trauma. Thanks for the comment!! Have a great week 🙂
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My grandparents escaped Ukraine during communism. Dark times. A betrayal of family. Ukrainians aren’t Russians—we ARE family. I was born in America and all the time I had to tell the kids (with my hand on hip) “I’m Ukrainian. Not Russian!” And the response was something like “what’s a Ukrainian?” Lol! Now everyone knows!
The psychological damage inflicted—that is if you survived those times—I think we are still feeling the effects. My grandmother sure did…but, no one in the family wanted her to talk about it—too painful. Too dark a secret. Embarrassing. See where I am going with this? Victims need to talk about their experience with others who can be compassionate—not for vengeance—but understanding. For healing.
It seems like on the deepest levels we all have an opportunity to take back our power. How many times do we betray our own selves with criticism and negative self talk? Can we stand up to our own inner bullies? I see my friend criticizing himself… and it breaks my heart. I told him so. “A man (or woman) who will criticize himself will easily criticize another woman.”
If we are truly intent on world peace—it begins with ending the war within ourselves first—taking back our power within. And I think perhaps this is exactly what the people of Ukraine and Russia are showing the rest of the world.
I so appreciate your posts and our dialogues! 💙💚💛🤍💙❤️
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What an interesting history. Your grandparents were incredibly brave!! But they also paid a high price. A very high price.
Yes, “victims need to talk about their experience with others who can be compassionate—not for vengeance—but understanding. For healing.” This is so important. We can’t pretend “it didn’t happen” – because it did happens. And our brain knows it happened. It seeps out and affects the whole of life, whether we want it to or not. Until we talk. Until our story is witnessed with great compassion.
Thanks for everything you have shared here, NZain. I appreciate your posts – and our dialogues – as well 🙂
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[…] Taking Back your Power After Betrayal — Don’t Lose Hope […]
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Thanks for linking to the post. I hope it helps your readers.
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