Trauma Permanently Changes Us

Trauma never really goes away. We can never entirely escape its effects. It remains a hole in the pit of our being. A deep dark hole that is scary and unknown.

We can grow some pretty flowers all around the hole, and landscape the garden so it looks beautiful. We can hang pretty lights which glow and sparkle in the night. Or place some scented candles on the ivy-covered walls.

And, yes, it looks amazing. What a great job we have done. What a huge transformation of a devastated area.   

But the problem is the hole.

For that hole is still there.

And that hole can create problems. In an instant. If it’s rumbled.

It’s a bit like molten lava that is lodged in a volcano. It may not be expelled from the interior for years.   Then all of a sudden – often unexpectedly – it erupts and causes havoc, as it spews its toxic waste.

And the only way to minimize the impact of a trauma is to accept that it has happened, and our life is not the same. We need to work on integrating all the mess, and all the losses. A task which feels unending – for we’re changed in lasting ways.

“Trauma permanently changes us. We might move through the different stages of grief, but the reality is the damage is so deep that we’re left with a new normal. We are different now.”