How to Keep Rejection from Crushing You

Don't Lose Hope12 Comments

Some of the most painful life experiences we’ll have will involve being rejected by someone we had loved. By someone we had trusted, and had shared our real self with. It’s hard to describe how soul-destroying this is.

If you are in this place, I want to share some truths with you. Hold tightly to these truths, and resist the toxic pull of painful self-rejection, and negative self-talk:

1. First … Keep on reminding yourself that you are beautiful and loveable. You are worthy of being loved, and of being loved well. Just because someone else can’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t true. That person isn’t the definer of truth and reality. Don’t allow them to define reality for you.

2. That person doesn’t define you, and being rejected by them doesn’t define you. Ask yourself: What would other people who know and love you say about you? What would they say your strength and positive attributes are? What would you say your strength and positive attribute are?  

The person who’s rejected you has missed seeing, or has down-played, important, and valuable, parts of you.  Their picture of you is far too narrow, and distorted.

3. You are good enough. As you are. You don’t need to change yourself to make yourself acceptable to someone else. It isn’t necessary. You are good enough right now.

4. If that person isn’t interested in you, is critical of you, or isn’t pursuing you, then they aren’t someone you want in your life. You deserve better than that. You are worth a lot more than that. And you can, and should, require a lot more than that.

5. You don’t always have to be your best, shiniest self to be wanted and loved by others. Everyone goes through hard times. Everyone has flaws. Everyone has times when they mess up, or haven’t got the energy to be warm, and bubbly, and outgoing, and happy. And that includes you. You are human – just like everyone else. And that’s OK.

“Relationship status: Committed to self-compassion, self-kindness and inner peace.”

12 thoughts on “How to Keep Rejection from Crushing You”

  1. Every word of this is golden, especially for those who’ve been told repeatedly they are unloved and unwanted. Someone pointed out recently that thinking and believing aren’t necessarily the same thing. Just because someone thinks something about us, or even if we think it about ourselves, doesn’t automatically make it true.

    Many survivors of betrayal trauma are pliable–easily bent by the thoughts and emotions of others. It is what it is. That’s why we seek out and spend time with trustworthy people who truly love us–no matter what. These folks may be getting harder to find, but they’re still out there.

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    • Yes, these are truths we need to take to heart. We need to see ourselves through the eyes of people who treat us well, and think we are great people, with so much to contribute in this world. This is the truth! This is what we deserve.

      People who put us down, reject us, and treat us badly are saying more about themselves. They lie when they say through their words and actions that we are worthless and deserve to be mistreated. We need to keep telling ourselves that those are lies until we can finally believe it in our hearts. Thanks for emphasizing this, David.

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  3. Thank you for sharing this. Your words are true and during hard times these wise truths are difficult to remember. I appreciate your post and hope you have a peaceful day and week ahead. ❤

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