Ask us: “How can I tell if a potential partner is someone I can trust?”

Recently a client asked the following: “How can I tell if a potential partner is someone I can trust?”

Here is our response …

Knowing you can trust your partner or spouse is something that is absolutely essential. However, trust is something which takes time to develop. Some traits to consider include the following:

1. Honesty and Openness: Honesty is the cornerstone of trust. A trustworthy spouse or partner tells the truth, and doesn’t hide important details from you.

Also, they share information willingly, and answer any questions without being evasive.

Note: Be wary of someone who is secretive, or avoids discussing certain topics with you. As the old adage says: “Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.”

2. Respect: Respect has been defined as “due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others”. Hence, a person who respect you doesn’t criticize and judge you. They don’t put you down, or humiliate, or shame you.

Also, respect includes valuing your autonomy, and leaving you to figure out what’s best for you,

3. Consistency and Reliability: Trustworthy partners are consistent in their words and behaviour. They turn up when they stay they will turn up, and they do what they say they will do.

Also, look for patterns in behaviour over time to see if these align with that person’s stated values.

4. Vulnerability: Trust is also about being vulnerable and real. A partner who shares their insecurities and fears is likely building a foundation of trust.

5. Empathy: A trustworthy partner or spouse is empathetic. They want to understand what it is like for you. They care about your feelings, and they take them seriously. Also, they offer comfort and support when life is challenging.

6. Accountability: Trustworthy individuals admit their mistakes, and take responsibility for they say and do. If they are quick to blame others, or to make excuses, then this is a red flag – and you should take it seriously.

7. Respect for Others: Notice how your partner, or your spouse, treats other people. A trustworthy person is respectful, kind, and values the feelings and opinions of others.

8. Having Shared Values: Partners who share similar beliefs and values are more likely to understand and support one another. Hence, this can contribute towards building trust.

9. A Positive Track Record: Look at their track record in past relationships. If they seem to have a history of being trustworthy, then this could be a positive indicator.

10. Gut Feeling: Pay close attention to your intuition. If you have persistent feelings of unease, it’s essential to acknowledge and explore these feelings.

Remember, trust is something which is built over time, and it’s important to allow a potential partner the chance to demonstrate their trustworthiness.

“If there is no trust, there’s no us.” – Unknown