Things to Stop Saying to Yourself

Things to stop saying to yourself:

1. “I’m no good at …”

Say instead: “It’s just a skill, and something I can learn.”

2. “I’m such a failure …”

Say instead: “I got it wrong, and everybody makes mistakes.”

3. “There’s no point in trying …”

Say instead: “It may be hard, but I can take it step by step.”

4. “Nobody likes me; I don’t have any friends …”

Say instead: “It doesn’t really matter what these people think of me. There are others who will recognize my value and worth.”

5. “I hate myself. I deserve to be rejected …”

Say instead: “I am beautiful inside, and have value and worth. I deserve to be loved and treated well.”

This is the beginning of loving yourself. Welcome home.”

If Only You Could See It

Your beauty is seen.

Your pure heart is known and loved.  

You’re valued and cherished by way more people than you will ever know, or could even imagine.

If only you knew just how many other people have been touched and encouraged by your words and by your life, you would be astounded. You’d be utterly amazed.

How I wish you were aware of how many hearts you lighten. How much happiness you shed. The encouragement you bring.

How many talk about you. About how kind you are. Your gentleness and laughter. The way you understand …

You’d think they must be talking about someone else instead.

But the truth is you are precious. Way more precious than you think. Your life’s an inspiration. It’s the truth. Take it to heart.

You leave behind an imprint. You touch others’ lives for good.

You mean so much to others.

Really, you have no idea!

I wish that you could see it. See yourself through clearer eyes.

If only you could see it.

You are beautiful and loved.

“I wish I could show you when you are lonely, or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.” – Hafiz

Yes, You Can Learn to Love Yourself

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You are fine just as you are. You don’t need to prove a thing.”

Life often feels like one long competition. Who is the prettiest, smartest, funniest, most interesting … and so it goes on.

There is pressure to compare ourselves with one another, and that can often lead to massive self-doubt.

So what can do you do when the internal tapes are constantly saying that you don’t measure up?  

It takes work to ignore, and to switch off, all those voices.

But you need to feel comfortable with yourself.

Think about it … You don’t want to feel that you’ve spent your whole life attacking yourself, and undermining your self-worth.

With that in mind:

1. Prioritize taking care of your health, and celebrate your body for all it does for you. Pay attention to your diet. Make sure you find some form of exercise you love, and can engage in regularly. Try to regulate your sleep patterns. Take care of your teeth. Participate in yoga or practice meditation. This will help you to de-stress, and get life back in perspective.

2. Make time to listen to your inner voice. Is there something you need? Do you feel that something’s missing? Do you feel you’re being authentic and true to who you are? Sometimes we do things others want us to do, or we compromise our values to get others’ approval.  

But at the end of the day, we need to follow our own path; and if we listen to our heart, it will usually lead us there.

3. Make time for those things that bring you happiness. Do you know what makes you happy? Then do more of that. Investing in your interests will increase your confidence, and you’ll also find you blossom … for you truly love your life!

4. Learn to love your little quirks; the things that make you unique. Sometimes we feel self-conscious – or we even ashamed – of certain aspects of our personality.

And that’s really crazy … for they make us unique, and often other people find those quirks fascinating. Don’t hide those parts “you”. Don’t apologise for them. Embrace and laugh about them. See their beauty; they are lovely.

No-one else is you, and that’s your superpower!”

This Much is True

You are a unique and beautiful person. The world is a better place because you are in it. This is absolutely true.

No matter how you’ve been treated in the past, and no matter what anyone has said to you, the following is absolutely true of you:

You are worthy.

You are precious.

You are wanted.

You are valued.

You are cherished.

You are seen.

You are enough.

For this reflective exercise you are asked to work through the following:

1. Read through the affirmations above, changing “You are …” to “I am …”

Read each affirmation aloud, slowly.

2. Close your eyes and repeat the exercise. Really think about what you are saying.

3. Which of the affirmations do you feel comfortable repeating?

4. Which do you find it hard to agree with, and why?

5. What lies are you believing about yourself?

6. What can you do to focus on the truth, instead of being derailed by a lie?

7. How can you exercise self-kindness, self-compassion and self-care during the next week?

I Promise …

“I have taken a vow to love myself, in good times and bad.” Stacie Martin

This is one of the most important vows you will ever make in life.

Don’t lose sight of it when things are tough. Or when the old tapes start playing in your head.

Remember to always love and cherish yourself.

Remember to be kind, and to cut yourself some slack.

Remember to listen to that faltering inner voice that wants to be heard, and be taken seriously.

There’s always a reason why we feel the way we feel, why we think the things we think, and react the way we do.

Don’t attack, or shame yourself. Don’t reject, or hate yourself.

Remember your vow. Choose to always love yourself.       

Paradise Lost

Try this.

Picture yourself as happy, carefree child – maybe 6 or 7 years of age.

Where are you? What are you doing? Try to identify what you might be thinking and feeling.

What makes this child so adorable? What makes your heart fill with love for her?

This is the real you.

The you you used to be. Before all those painful, damaging experiences. Before you stopped liking and loving yourself.

This is the you who got lost along the way.

But that you still exists – beneath the layers of the years.

That you is still there – maybe buried, but still there.

Oh, wouldn’t it be wonderful to reconnect with her!

If only you could access that child once again.

“This is the beginning of loving yourself. Welcome home.”

Getting What You Deserve

“Darling, you deserve it all.

Love, and peace, and joy dancing in your eyes.

Heart, deep belly laughter,

and the right to let those tears fall and water the soil.

You deserve freedom, and goodness, and company, and days of bliss and quiet.

You deserve happy, and healed, and content and safe.

So keep going. Go realize into being the life you deserve.”

You deserve it all.

Happiness. Deep happiness. A rich, contented meaningful life.

The right to be authentic and genuine. The right to be who you were meant to be.

Unique you. Beautiful you.

The right to feel your feelings. The right to express your feelings.

The right to be healed. The right to feel safe.

Don’t ever believe you deserve less than this.

This is the life you were meant to live.

Measuring Up

We live in a world full of comparisons.

Does she have a sexier figure than me? Does she look younger, or better for her age? Is she so much smarter? Have a better career? Do people think that she is funnier than me?

I suspect it all begins in the early years of life when we start fighting hard to get our parents’ attention.

But it’s a process that continues for the rest of our life.

And it’s a process that leads to insecurity, as well.

For at any point in time we could cease to measure up – and we could lose the affection of those who matter most.

Like our family, or close friends.

Like our partner, or our spouse.

Yet each of us is different – individual and unique.

And we start to lose ourselves when we make comparisons.

But comparing’s so ingrained, such a feature of our lives, that it’s hard to switch it off. To stop weighing up our worth.

Yet we cannot love ourselves if we reject part of ourselves.

If we always see some defect, or we view ourselves as flawed.

And those differences in outlook, in personality, in interests and experiences, in qualities and looks, are what make us so unique.

Fascinating.

Not a clone.

And being youjust you it’s a gift you give the world.

You touch and nourish lives in an individual way.

If only you could see that this person who is ‘you’ is precious as you are.

You don’t need to strive, or change.

You are free to be yourself.

There is no need to compare.

Comparison is an act of violence against the self.” – Iyanla Vanzant