“As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself… The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage.” – Bessel van der Kolk
Sharing our deepest secrets and pain
Secrets don’t have to be shared with everyone. But we need to find someone we can share them with.
However, choose that person carefully.
This is often the most difficult part of all – because you don’t want to make things worse for yourself.
You don’t want to share with someone who will criticize and judge.
Or with someone who will secretly (or not so secretly) be quietly glad that your hurt and suffering.
That is the last thing you need at this time.
So you need to find someone who you’re sure will empathize. Someone who will ‘get it’ and be there for you.
Why do you need courage?
Talking makes it real.
Once you’ve stated it out loud, you can’t pretend it didn’t happen.
Be ready for that.
That’s where courage and strength come in.
That’s why you need to be prepared – and to brave and strong.
Not so brave and strong that you don’t fall apart – because there’s a very good chance that you will fall apart. There are going to be months of falling apart.
But brave enough for you to admit to yourself that:
“This is my story.”
“This happened to me.”
“This is my life.”
“The unthinkable happened.”
Facing up to those truths is devastating. It takes courage.
But doing that enables the healing to begin.
For you have taken the first step in your recovery.