Starting Over

“Start over my darling. Be brave enough to find the life you want and courageous enough to chase it. Then start over and love yourself the way you were always meant to.” – Madalyn Beck

New beginnings are possible.

Sometimes a new beginning takes the form of walking away and designing a completely different life. The life you really want.

The new life you have chosen.

The life where you are free to be yourself.

It’s a life-changing moment. A decisive step.

At other times, starting over is a gentler process.

It is taking one small step, then another small step.

This process is more hesitant. Perhaps less obvious.

Yet, it’s still decisive and life-changing over time.

So whatever starting over looks like to you, don’t be afraid to make that first important change.

You have so much potential.

This life is yours to live.

You don’t have to settle.

You can have another chance.   

Darling You Deserve It All

Darling you deserve it all.

Love and peace and joy dancing in your eyes.

Hearty, deep belly laughter

And the right to let those tears fall, and water the soil.

You deserve happy, and healed, and content, and safe.

So keep going.

Go, realize into being the life you deserve.

(Source: Unknown)

Quote of the Day

“Hope is not pretending that troubles don’t exist. It is the hope that they won’t last forever. That hurts will be healed and difficulties overcome. That we will be led out of darkness and into the sunshine.”

Hold onto that hope.

You can do this.

Don’t give up.

Let this be a word that is meant for you today.

Project Hope

“All is not as it should be.

But all is as it is.

And as it is

we can still see wishes in stars

and new leaves sprouting on trees

and shapes in the clouds

and silver webs with tiny owners

and flowers tilting toward warm sunlight

and love in our children’s eyes

and hope in the mirror.

Yes, it is as it is.

But it is also what we make it.”

L.R.Knost

 

So, no matter how despairing or desperate you feel,

No matter what has happened, or how dark the future seems,

Lift your eyes, and look around you.

Notice all the signs of spring.

Those beautiful reminders that life can be reborn –

Despite the bleakest winters and the coldest, harshest storms.

In the Bad Times Remember the Good Times

In the bad times, remember the good times.

Remember you don’t always feel this way.

Remember there are days when you laugh and dream again.

Remember there are days when you see life differently.

 

And though the truth was devastating

It is better that you know.

It’s worse to be in darkness and to live a fantasy.

Transparency is better than the secrets and the lies.

At least your eyes are open. Everything is in the light.

 

And as the weeks turn into months

And the months turn into years

You see the change has lasted.

There’s reason to believe.

Day by day your trust is growing, and you’re starting to relax.

Perhaps you’ve a turned a corner.

Perhaps it’s safe to breathe.

Quote of the Day

There is strength in being soft.

Stay gentle and kind.

Be true to yourself despite all the pain.

And never let go of that sense of hope.

Perhaps It Isn’t Over Until It’s Over

In Thinking, Fast and Slow Daniel Kahneman explains how our view of our life, and our close relationships, is determined by something called the Peak End Rule.

That is, the way we end up feeling about people, and our life, is not some kind of average of the moments we have lived, or the times that we have shared, or experienced with them.

You know … the most memorable vacations, then the boring humdrum times, securing that fab job, falling deeply in love, the birth of all our kids, losing someone we had loved … or, perhaps, separating if we learn we’ve been betrayed.

If we add all these together, you have an average life. Right?

Wrong.

It seems our overall rating of how our life has been, and the way we rate our partner and the years we’ve spent with them – is not simply an average of these moments and these years.

And, no, the good times and the bad times don’t cancel themselves out.

In summary, The Peak-End Rule reveals that final ratings will be based on an average of just two distinct experiences. These are:

1. The worst or the most positive experience we’ve had, and
2. The intensity of pain, or the pleasure we feel at the end of an event, or a relationship.

You see this principle at work all the time in sports.

For example, where a game is turned around when a player scores a goal – and we thought all hope had gone, and the team were going to lose. But now we’re super happy and the game’s a huge success.

You can see this principle at work in your own life, too.

For example, cast your mind back thorough the years and review the time you’ve spent with your partner or your spouse (or with someone else you’ve loved).

Do you look back on those years and then balance out events? Or did something major happen so other memories are erased, or are deleted, or rewritten in light of this event?

But maybe there’s good news …

Because our life is one long story, we may still all have the chance to take hold of the pen and decide what happens next. We could script a better ending, one that’s meaningful and good. This is not the final chapter. You still have time to write.

Quote of the Day

Feeling weak and tired is normal. Feeling that you can’t go on is normal. Feeling that you haven’t got what it takes to make it through the day, or make it through the night, is absolutely normal when you’ve been betrayed.

For this moment, choose to take the pressure off yourself. Give your mind a break. Stop struggling for now.

Just believe us when we say, “This is not the end. You’re going to making through. You’ll find yourself again.”

Hang on to our hope when you’ve lost sight of your own.