“The first draft of anything is shit.” ― Ernest Hemingway
I think this truth can be applied to our life, and often to our relationships, as well.
The first stab at anything is nothing more than that.
A stab in the dark. A first attempt.
We act on instinct, repeating what we’ve learned.
Unconsciously living out the scripts and messages we’ve picked up from others, and have stored in our brain.
But perhaps it is time to start over again.
To start in an informed, and a more deliberate, way.
And as you think of starting over, you can chart out a course that’s a lot more consistent with the way you want to live. (Bearing in mind, we don’t control everything … And, certainly, we don’t control everyone.)
Below are some questions to help you figure what you want from life and, what you might need to change:
1. What does a healthy and meaningful relationship look like to me? (Try to be as specific as possible.)
2. If I was living my best possible life, how would I look to an outside observer? (Happy, relaxed, contented, confident etc.)
3. How would I be feeling?
4. What kinds of things would I be doing?
5. How would I describe my life right now? How close is it, to the way I want to live?
6. How would I describe my relationships right now? How similar are they to what I really want?
7. What am I happy with; what would I like to keep?
8. What am I unhappy with; what would I like to change?
9. What am I putting up with in myself that is stopping me from living my best life? How can I change that? Am I prepared to do what is needed to change things?
10. What am I putting up with in others, that is stopping me from living my best life? What can I do to change that?