How to Deal with Criticism

1. Don’t react immediately, and don’t take it personally (even if it was meant personally). Withdraw, and take time to process what was said.

2. Acknowledge the feelings it evokes in you; don’t just push them down inside (And remember: there are no wrong feelings). Try to figure out … Do you feel angry? Mad? Resentful? Unfairly judged? Misunderstood? Defensive? Vengeful?

3. Look at the source of the criticism. Is it from someone who knows you well? Is it from someone who cares about you? Is it from someone you respect yourself? Or, is from someone who frequently complains, and criticizes others, and is rarely objective? Does it say more about them, than you?

4. Ask yourself: “What do I agree with in what that person said? What should I reject – because it’s clearly wrong?” Try to be objective and balanced here. Is there anything to learn, at all?

5. Ask yourself what you think their motivation was. Was it designed to help you, or to hurt you? If their motivation was negative, it’s likely the criticism doesn’t require a response.

6. Think of how you’ll deal with attack and criticism – when it occurs again, in the future. What boundaries could stop you from being hurt? What truths do you need to repeat to yourself?

7. Remember that others’ views and opinions do not define you.

“Pay no attention to toxic words. What people say is often a reflection of them, not you.”

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