Setting Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are protective limits we set for ourselves and others. They are based on what is important to us; what is good for our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health; and what we can cope with. They communicate how we want, and deserve, to be treated by others.

What do healthy boundaries look like?

1. Knowing who you are, what you want and need, and respecting your separateness from others.

2. Accepting responsibility for your own emotions, and for your own happiness and success.

3. Not being responsible for someone else’s behaviour, choices, wellbeing or happiness. Not being pulled into solving their problems, or stopping their lives from falling apart.

4. Not being manipulated or controlled by others, or fearing their retaliation, if you don’t do what they want.

5. Not feeling guilty when others are unhappy about you having, and enforcing, boundaries.

6. Saying “yes” because you want to, and not out of obligation.

7. Saying “no” when you want to, and not being coerced into changing your mind.

8. Making decisions and acting in line with your own values, beliefs and goals.

9. Asking for what you want and need.

10. Requiring others treat you with respect, and as an equal.

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