How to Cope with Panic Attacks

Partners who’ve experienced betrayal trauma can sometimes suffer from panic attacks. These are both unpleasant and frightening. So, what can you do to help you cope with these attacks, and to regain some control when you feel out of control?

Here are some steps that might help you with this:                        

1. Remind yourself that these feelings of panic are simply exaggerated stress responses. They are also very normal in your situation.

2. Although they feel dramatic and worrying, the sensations aren’t likely to be dangerous. Usually they will pass, and nothing worse is going to happen.

3. Interrupt the tendency to add to the panic by starting to worry about the feelings, and how they might affect you – both now and in the future.

4. Keep the present as your focus. Don’t let your mind run wild. Instead, assume the persona of a detached observer. Simply ‘notice’ what is happening inside you right now. And try to be more curious and analytical.

5. Focus on your breathing. Try to slow it down. Take deep, steady breaths from your diaphragm. Notice how this helps – emotionally, and physically.   

6. Put a blanket round your shoulders if you’re cold or shivery. You want to feel safe, warm and comfortable … and also comforted.

7. Try to ground yourself in your environment. Notice how the carpet feels beneath your feet, or slowly run your hand over the fabric of the chair. This will help to bring you back into this time and place.

8. Be patient, wait it out, and let the feelings run their course. Eventually they’ll fade and you’ll return to feeling normal.

9. Take it easy, and relax, when you feel the symptoms end. Give yourself time to recover, and invest in some self-care.

10. When you feel more like yourself, reflect on how far you have come. Think of how well you have coped – despite tremendous challenges. You are going to survive, and you can cope with these attacks. 

“Celebrate every win, no matter how small.”

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