Dealing with our Worries, Anxieties, and Fears

“What worries you controls you.” – Unknown

Some of those worries are legitimate fears, and it’s important to take them seriously. Other worries are more vague, or they’re less likely to occur. And yet we ruminate, and turn them over in our minds.

So what can you do when worries grip and torture us?

1. Find a time and place where you can be alone, and undisturbed.

2. Take some paper, or open a blank page on your computer, and start making a list of all your different worries and anxieties.

3. As you start making your list, you will find more worries will come to the surface.  Allow them to come.

4. On a scale of 1-10, write down how realistic each of these worries and anxieties is, and the reason why you have assigned that particular value to them.

5. For each worry and anxiety, write down 2 or 3 realistic things you could do/ steps you could take to make that particular worry slightly less threatening, or anxiety-creating.   Note how you feel as you do this.

6. Try to identify all the different ways your worries and fears are affecting your relationships, and your life in again. Try to be as detailed and specific as possible.

7. Write down what your relationships might be like, and how you might be living, if this worry or anxiety didn’t consume your thinking, and your emotional energy.

8. Imagine yourself living that way. Picture it vividly, with as much real detail as possible. What would you be doing? How would you be relating to others? How would they be relating to you?  

9. How do you feel as you imagine this. Have your feelings changed from when you began the exercise?

10. Take these feelings into the rest of your day.