Some Relationship Truths

Too often we make relationships more complicated than they need to be. Here are some principles for simplifying things.

1. It’s a fact that all relationships require some work – They don’t stay healthy and get deeper on their own. They persist and thrive when both people are invested, and risk being open and vulnerable. Honesty and being real are the two key components for maintaining rewarding relationships.

2. As a general rule of thumb, you get back what you put in – If you want friends you need to be friendly. If you want to feel cared for, then you need to show you care. Of course, there are exceptions – but in most relationships it’s a simple approach that consistently works.

3. You shouldn’t have to fight to be important to someone – If they don’t see your worth, don’t waste your time on them. If they want you in their life then they’ll make time for you.

4. Everybody changes; it’s a principle of life – Our life experiences change us. The people we meet change us. When someone says, “You’ve changed,” don’t think it’s always negative. It can mean you stopped being what they want you to be. Be true to yourself. Be who you need yourself to be.

5. Although we are affected by external circumstances, you still have some control over your own happiness – If your relationships aren’t working, do something to change them. Don’t let other people rule your feelings and your life.

6. You can’t change other people; they can only change themselves – Complaining, cajoling and manipulating others won’t lead to a permanent change in the end. It has to come from them; it has to be their own decision.  

7. You are better off without some people in your life – If you have to change your values, or compromise your morals, or if you feel you’re being mistreated, or used, or pushed around then you’re better off without that individual in your life. It might be tough, and it might hurt, to close the door and walk away – but you will be much better off, and you’ll be happy, in the long run.

8. Small acts of kindness go a long, long way – Make the effort to communicate that someone matters to you. Those little gestures matter; they enrich relationships. Take every opportunity to show you care.

“There comes a point in your life when you realize: who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore, and who always will.”