Who do I Think I Am?

“If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?“ – Maya Angelou

This is a good, and a thought-provoking, question! I wonder how good we really are to ourselves. Here are some journal prompts to help you think this through …

1. Without thinking too deeply about the question, what is your knee-jerk response? Would you say that you are good to yourself?

2. Thinking about the question in more depth …. What would you be doing differently if you were being good to yourself? Try to be concrete and specific here.

For example, would you speak up more, or say “yes” or “no” more often?

Would you speak differently to, or about, yourself?

Would you take more chances?

Would you have a different job or career?

Would you spend more (or perhaps less!) money on yourself?

Would you walk away from some relationships, or drama?

3. If you feel you have a tendency to not be good to yourself, I wonder what stops you being good to yourself?

For example, is it old beliefs and messages that you’ve carried over from your childhood, or from a significant relationship?

Are you living out a script where you always put others first, and you bury and repress your own needs, wishes and wants?

Are you afraid that others will judge, criticize, put you down (or even reject you), if you’re good to yourself?  

Do you struggle with low self-worth, and self-esteem? Do you find it hard to be kind to, or generous towards, yourself?

4. How has “not being good to yourself” affected your relationships with others?

For example, has it resulted in you getting into destructive, or abusive, relationships … or staying in destructive, or abusive, relationships?

Has it meant that you have allowed yourself to be taken advantage of, or treated like a doormat, by others?

Has it meant that you have lacked confidence, and haven’t been able to promote yourself and your gifts in front of others?

Have you found yourself doing things you didn’t want to do, or spending money you didn’t want (or have) to spend – to be included, or accepted, by others?

5. What one small thing could you do today to show yourself that you were worth being good to? Will you do that one thing?