
“I’m giving myself permission to vocalize my hurt, instead of pretending it doesn’t hurt for the sake of appearing easy going and ‘unaffected’.
Knowing that being affected by people and things is human.
Knowing that staying silent has only ever disconnected me from other people, and myself.
Knowing that giving feedback is the first step to repairing rupture.
Knowing that how other people respond to my boundaries gives me important information about how I want to continue to show up in that relationship.” – J. Daniell Koepke
Society encourages us to be silent when we are hurting, or to put on a happy face. It sends the message that other peoples’ needs and feelings of comfort are more important than our own.
But that isn’t true. You have a right to be honest about the things that have happened, and how these have impacted you. It isn’t being difficult. It isn’t being disloyal. It isn’t being negative. It isn’t moaning. It is being honest and real.
And we need to be honest and real … otherwise it will catch up with us later. Through our health. Through the way we relate to other people. And through the limits we put on ourselves.
I agree!
We should all give ourselves permission to be, to feel.
Thats very important! Xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Carole … It’s so therapeutic!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It definitely is therapeutic 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your thoughts today remind me of your earlier post about the Fawn Trauma Response—where one merges with the wishes, needs, and demands of others by forfeiting their own needs, rights, preferences, and boundaries.
It is possible to stand up for your own rights while respecting the rights of others. On a purely personal level we are all equals.
One of my personal mantras is “Doorman, not doormat.” This allows me to help and encourage others but not be a victim.
LikeLiked by 2 people
“It is possible to stand up for your own rights while respecting the rights of others. On a purely personal level we are all equals.” Yes! We are all equals. Others might give off vibes that they are more important, or that they wants and needs matter more – but it isn’t true. For some of us, it is hard to elevate our own needs and wishes, and to act as if they are important. It takes practice!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Powerful. Your posts are always so encouraging, and filled w/ hope. ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks so much Anna!
LikeLike
Permission granted. Motivating.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment 🙂 Have a great week!
LikeLike
This is helping me this morning to remember what is true and that it’s in to exist and release pain, hurt, trauma. It’s vital to my staying alive. Thank you!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, remembering what is true is vitally important. And we need to find a way to release the hurt and pain – something that takes so much time, and which isn’t easy. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Emerging From The Dark Night and commented:
Staying silent not only hurts us it also hurts the next generation in our family.. Its a big challenge to vocalise our hurt but it needs to be done regardless of who is or is not listening.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, we need to speak what happened out loud. It is highly destructive to suppress the truth of what happened to us for too long!
LikeLike
💯
LikeLike
Such good and healing truth.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Isn’t is so good to give ourselves those permissions! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment laDonna 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
💗♥️💗
LikeLike
Thank you so much! I needed to see and read your words today! They speak to me. Peace 🤍✨🦋
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad you read them at the right time. Wishing you peace as well 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well said! There will be moments when we need to be real and honest with ourselves.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you bigskybuckeye!
LikeLike
Awesome post written from the heart.
LikeLike
Thank you Kally! I hope you have a lovely weekend.
LikeLiked by 1 person