How to Find Joy Again

Can you remember the last time you experienced pure joy?

As children we’re familiar with the feeling of joy; but it becomes more elusive as we move through life. There are times when we feel happy, and when things are working out.  But it’s hard to really capture a deep sense of joy.

Below, are six practices to help you with this.  

1. Keep your eyes on the future: It would be wrong to say that the past does not affect us. For it clearly, does, and in a myriad of ways. We have scars and open wounds, and we carry deep regrets. But the reality is: there is nothing we can do to change what happened, or to bring a person back when a relationship has ended, or a loved one has passed on.

Does it hurt? Yes, it does.

Do we wish that things were different? Yes, of course – because we’re haunted by the losses and the pain.

But once we’ve faced that hard truth, the healthiest thing that we can do is to try to build a future which is meaningful to us.

To help with this: Ask yourself what that future might look like. Try to create as concrete and vivid a picture as possible. Then, make this your focus and goal.

2. Practice gratitude: Regardless of how you are feeling at the time.

Regardless of whether you feel grateful or not.

There are always things we canbe grateful for. There are always things which havegone wellin our lives.

3. Create positive rituals for staring your day: How we start the day affects the rest of our day. So, figure out some rituals that get you off to a good start.

Things that work for others – and which could maybe work for you – include: Meditation, yoga, journaling, praying, listening to music, or going for a run.

4. Seek to live in the now; seek to be fully present: We live in a hectic and demanding, fast-paced world which is full of pressures and responsibilities.

And when we stop for a few minutes, and try to relax, we often pick up our phone and scroll through social media – which tends to make us feel that we’re missing out on life.

And if we’re always discontented, and wanting something more, then we’ll never be able to find that sense of joy.

But when we choose to be mindful, we notice things we’ve missed … Like the scent from the flowers, the new buds on the trees, the changing shapes of the clouds as they move across the sky, the different colours of pebbles on the beach, and so on.

That kind of mindfulness grounds us, and it helps to calm us down. It helps to keep things in perspective when we’re tempted to feel anxious.

5. Be there for others. Making a difference in the life of others can be amazingly rewarding, and transform how we feel. In a way, it is strange how much meaning we derive from thinking about how we can help someone else.

And if it’s something that we choose, and we feel we want to do (instead of it being something we are told we ought to do) it is so rewarding, and it makes us feel alive.           

6. Fake it ‘til you make it: The research indicates that even when we fake a smile, it can start to change our physiology. That is, just making the effort to be upbeat around others can influence our emotions – so we feel much happier.

This doesn’t mean we should deny, or suppress, negative feelings. These will still need to be processed at another point in time.

“When you choose joy, you feel good. And when you feel good, you do good. And when you do good it reminds others of what joy feels like, and it might just inspire them to do the same.” – Unknown

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