Saying Goodbye to my Old Identity

“I have already lost touch with a couple of people I used to be.” – Joan Didion

Old versions of ‘you’ you might need to let go of include:

The you who allowed other people to use and abuse her.

The you who was afraid to stand up for herself.

The you who was afraid to ask for what she wanted.

The you who was afraid to go afterwhat she wanted.

The you who let other people say who she was … and let others choose her identity.

The you who felt she always had to put others first, and who didn’t prioritize self love and self care.

The you who believed she wasn’t worthy of love … and had to take what she could get … or had to take what she was given.

The you who didn’t believe she had the right to succeed, to be noticed and applauded, to be given recognition.

But now it is time to move on from that old you – to take the opportunity to reinvent yourself.

For that is a healthy way to live your life.

Do you have this growth identity?  

15 thoughts on “Saying Goodbye to my Old Identity

  1. Wow. Beautiful

    Some of my you’s were traumatized

    Stored in a place we can not access consciously

    I wish I could just lose touch

    I guess I have lost touch with many things but others seem to return

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  2. Yes, I have this growth identify. A major challenge for me is to let go of the shame I feel for allowing myself to become a victim—more than once. Yet, as a wise mentor teacher told me (about classroom management): “David, you’ll always have another chance.” This helps me to remember that I can be an assertive person when necessary, though this is not my default setting. The new me is one good decision away!

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  3. I believe I am entering into this growth identity, and it’s due to God working in various ways. I have trouble being an assertive person, but one day a manager at work told me I was “docile”. I thought I was trying to be easy to get along with! Not wanting to be considered “docile”–I read it as “doormat”–I asked God for help. This past year, with my mother’s off-again, on-again health problems, I’ve had to be more assertive.

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    • I think I would have felt the same way if a manager had said that at work. I felt insulted on your behalf as I read your comment! Like you, I am thankful that God is at work in me, and help me grow in areas where I have been unable to be who he created me to be. Thanks so much for sharing this from your personal experience. I appreciate it 🙂

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      • The manager was half my age, which made it worse. I thought afterwards that maybe the way people relate to one another in the workplace changed. Maybe a person is expected to be more assertive now. I was “old school”, and they were “new school”. I am out of that workplace now, though not because of that comment.

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  4. Yes I resonate with these… And difficult to remember… Even although I have changed my behavior I still think of myself as this other woman. It is like still picturing oneself as young when one has grown to be an older woman 😉

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  5. Interesting. Thanks for sharing this Morag. I still think of myself as someone who is younger – even although I am not young anymore!!! (But maybe also as a wiser version of that younger self.)

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