Owning Your Story so it Doesn’t Own You

“Owning our story, and loving ourselves through the process, is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” – Brene Brown

Aliesha fell in love with an amazing guy she met one summer on holiday. Everything about him seemed phenomenal. He (Gavin) had graduated with a PhD from one of the top universities. He had his own business – and a very profitable business at that. He was also a diver, a ski instructor, and loved to cook her fabulous meals.

Aliesha and Gavin dated for 6 months then Aliesha moved from Ohio to California to live with Gavin. For the first couple of months, everything was fine. But after that, things started to change. Gavin’s jealousy reared its ugly head. He was moody, controlling, and had angry outbursts. When he became abusive, Aliesha knew she had to leave.

It took a lot of work to process what had happened. The shock and grief were intense and overwhelming. There were issues around trusting both herself and others, and around self-worth and self esteem. But Aliesha knew the story we tell ourselves can influence the person we become in life.

She reframed the story, and saw herself as a survivor. And she found a new purpose in being there for other women who had also left abusive relationships. She helped them to tap into their courage and strength, and to find their confidence and self worth again.

Your Story ShapesYou, Too

What is the story you are telling yourself?

How is shaping your life’s trajectory?

What have been the high points and the low points that have formed you?

How have these influenced you, and how have they derailed you?

The author Bill George in his book True North states “it is how you understand yourself through your story that matters, not the facts of your life.”

How can you apply this to your experience?

Reframing Your Story

Although our past exerts a huge influence on us, it needn’t dictate our life’s trajectory. Don’t let your experiences do this to you!

You can reshape any life event so it serves your purpose, and you become the hero. It might feel hard but it is possible! Aliesha managed it, and you can, too.

So let me finish by asking you again:

What is the story you are telling yourself? How can you own it so it doesn’t own you?

“You can own your story, or your story will own you. Either way, you can’t re-write the past, but you can influence the next chapter.” – Dawn Gluskin


7 thoughts on “Owning Your Story so it Doesn’t Own You

  1. Wow. So much good information here! Being a victim doesn’t mean you have to see yourself as one forever. Abusive and manipulative folks often frame everything to their liking. But this isn’t always reality. The truth is we are stronger than we think—strong enough to walk away from our abusers intact.

    Liked by 1 person

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