Dealing with the trauma that accompanies betrayal is utterly exhausting. It takes over your life.
There’s the constant triggering that sets intense emotions swirling. The adrenalin is surging and our mind won’t be switched off.
“How could he have betrayed me?”
“Did he never really love me?”
“And what if he regresses and goes back to his old ways?”
“This must affect my health. I’m sure the stress is killing me.”
“How can, or should, I trust him?”
And on and on it goes …
And then there’s all the talking. The hours of therapy. The pain that this unleashes. The anger and the rage. The cauldron of emotions is now at its boiling point. It’s venomous and toxic …
Yet healing flows from it.
And then there’s all the knowledge we feel we must acquire. We read and read for hours, and check out videos. It’s good. It’s education. It helps us understand. It can be reassuring. We feel we’re not alone.
But, honestly, this isn’t how I want to live my days out. I don’t want to be focused on all these negatives. This heartache that consumes me … It’s not something I wanted.
I thought that love was simple – but it’s ruined everything.