“At the heart of any real intimacy is a certain vulnerability. It is hard to trust someone with your vulnerability unless you can see in them a matching vulnerability, and know that you will not be judged.” – Rachel Remmen
This is one reason why we feel so alone when we’re living with trauma, or betrayal trauma.
We feel as if the world either pulls back from us … or exercises judgment … or tells us what to do (as it showers us with unhelpful and unwanted advice).
And none of these responses are compassionate responses.
This doesn’t help at all; we only feel misunderstood.
We just feel under pressure to “shut up” and “move on”.
It leaves us feeling worse; it slowly eats away at hope. There’s no-one there to listen so we bear it on our own.
We’ve lived with shock and heartache, and we’re fighting to survive. And yet it seems that no-one is there to take our hand.
And that’s why we need people who’ve known deep sorrow, too. Who’ve passed through raging waters. Who live with shattered dreams.
These people are a refuge. They meet us where we are. They’ve walked the road of suffering. They lived through horrors, too.
These people are safe people. Like us, they’ve wounds and scars.
These people are our people.
With them, we can be real.
“What? You too? I thought I was the only one.” – C.S. Lewis