Is there Anyone out There who Really Understands?

At the heart of any real intimacy is a certain vulnerability. It is hard to trust someone with your vulnerability unless you can see in them a matching vulnerability, and know that you will not be judged.” – Rachel Remmen

This is one reason why we feel so alone when we’re living with trauma, or betrayal trauma.

We feel as if the world either pulls back from us … or exercises judgment … or tells us what to do (as it showers us with unhelpful and unwanted advice).

And none of these responses are compassionate responses.

This doesn’t help at all; we only feel misunderstood.

We just feel under pressure to “shut up” and “move on”.

It leaves us feeling worse; it slowly eats away at hope. There’s no-one there to listen so we bear it on our own.  

We’ve lived with shock and heartache, and we’re fighting to survive. And yet it seems that no-one is there to take our hand.

And that’s why we need people who’ve known deep sorrow, too. Who’ve passed through raging waters. Who live with shattered dreams.

These people are a refuge. They meet us where we are. They’ve walked the road of suffering. They lived through horrors, too.     

These people are safe people. Like us, they’ve wounds and scars.

These people are our people.

With them, we can be real.

What? You too? I thought I was the only one.” – C.S. Lewis         

23 thoughts on “Is there Anyone out There who Really Understands?

  1. Something about your post brought to mind the people who’ve been traumatized by the COVID-19 pandemic. For many of us, it has been a lower level, yet relentless experience. But others have lost loved ones to this terrible 🦠 disease and their lives have been changed forever. Yet the polarizing opinions surrounding this pandemic make it much harder to deal with grief.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks for mentioning this. Yes, COVID has had traumatic effects on the lives of so many people, and the polarization that has tended to accompany it has resulted in a lot of pain. Like you, I know people who have lost family members, and people who are now suffering from long COVID. We need to experience genuine compassion, empathy, and non-judgment to begin to heal from our grief. Thank you for highlighting this need. Have a great weekend.

      Liked by 2 people

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