
“At the heart of any real intimacy is a certain vulnerability. It is hard to trust someone with your vulnerability unless you can see in them a matching vulnerability, and know that you will not be judged.” – Rachel Remmen
This is one reason why we feel so alone when we’re living with trauma, or betrayal trauma.
We feel as if the world either pulls back from us … or exercises judgment … or tells us what to do (as it showers us with unhelpful and unwanted advice).
And none of these responses are compassionate responses.
This doesn’t help at all; we only feel misunderstood.
We just feel under pressure to “shut up” and “move on”.
It leaves us feeling worse; it slowly eats away at hope. There’s no-one there to listen so we bear it on our own.
We’ve lived with shock and heartache, and we’re fighting to survive. And yet it seems that no-one is there to take our hand.
And that’s why we need people who’ve known deep sorrow, too. Who’ve passed through raging waters. Who live with shattered dreams.
These people are a refuge. They meet us where we are. They’ve walked the road of suffering. They lived through horrors, too.
These people are safe people. Like us, they’ve wounds and scars.
These people are our people.
With them, we can be real.
“What? You too? I thought I was the only one.” – C.S. Lewis
💌
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Reblogged this on Ken's Devotions.
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Thanks Kenneth. Have a great weekend.
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Reblogged this on Survivors Blog Here Mental Health Collaborative .
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💜❤💜
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Thank you Therese 🙂
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Something about your post brought to mind the people who’ve been traumatized by the COVID-19 pandemic. For many of us, it has been a lower level, yet relentless experience. But others have lost loved ones to this terrible 🦠 disease and their lives have been changed forever. Yet the polarizing opinions surrounding this pandemic make it much harder to deal with grief.
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Thanks for mentioning this. Yes, COVID has had traumatic effects on the lives of so many people, and the polarization that has tended to accompany it has resulted in a lot of pain. Like you, I know people who have lost family members, and people who are now suffering from long COVID. We need to experience genuine compassion, empathy, and non-judgment to begin to heal from our grief. Thank you for highlighting this need. Have a great weekend.
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Reblogged this on Emerging From The Dark Night and commented:
A hand to hold. No one can make it out of trauma without that gift of gentle allowing understanding..
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Thanks for the reblog. Yes, we all need that hand to hold, and for someone to share the burden with us.
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❤
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Such an important post.. Being silenced is the worst trauma of all. As is being left all alone inside of it.
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Being silenced makes it feel as if the people in your life are saying “It never happened.” That’s a terrible message to receive when you are dealing with something completely overwhelming. Thanks E.
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It is! It is killing honestly, it amplifies the impact of the trauma.
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We are never truly alone.
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We’re never alone if we have the Holy Spirit to comfort and guide us 🙂
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Sometimes in a world lacking true empathy we really are.
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It’s excruciating to feel alone because no-one understands, or wants to understand.
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It really is and sometimes people try to imply you should be able to cope with only some kind of non physical spiritual connection, to my mind that is not enough or even right initially..
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I think a spiritual connection can help but, I agree, we need people. Damage is done by people and through relationships, and healing comes through people too. We are not made to
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Yes that’s what I meant. 💖
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(Sorry this sent before I’d finished typing!) … We are not made to live alone and we do not flourish in isolation.
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❤️
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