You’re not going crazy, and you’re not alone

I keep so much pain inside myself. I grasp my anger and loneliness and hold it in my chest. It has changed me into something I never meant to be. It has transformed me into a person I do not recognize.”

Almost everyone who’s experienced trauma will resonate with these painful words. We experience depths of pain we never knew were possible. And we react in ways that shake and shock us to our core.

If you feel this way, you are not alone. It doesn’t mean you’re crazy. And you’re not the only one.

These are normal reactions to traumatic life events. When your world is ripped apart, and nothing’s certain anymore.

What other kinds of things might you be grappling with?

– Re-experiencing the pain at unexpected times. Suddenly being hit by uncontrollable emotions.

– Being highly reactive, and over-reacting to minor offences or neutral events.

– Your feelings and reactions are all over the place. These can change in an instant from numbness to rage … to feeling desolate, abandoned and alone … to feeling indignant … and all things in between.

– Feeling you can’t cope with every day life. It all feels too much; you have zero energy.  

– Wanting to withdraw and isolate yourself; you simply do not have the strength to deal with anyone.

– Battling low self-worth and low self-esteem Feeling you’re a failure, and can’t do anything.

– Being tormented by obsessive and unwanted thoughts related to the trauma, and mess it’s left behind.

– Feeling angry that this happened and ruined everything.

– Feeling worn out and exhausted from months of broken sleep, and being wakened in the night with anxiety attacks.

If you feel this describes you, then be gentle with yourself.  It’s going to take a while, and the journey will be rough. Be patient with yourself. Do not judge the way you feel. Just take it very slowly. You’ll find yourself again. 

17 thoughts on “You’re not going crazy, and you’re not alone

  1. This is great! In a couple of days I start massage therapy school—and this reminder of holding pain and trauma in the body is so relevant—being sensitive and compassionate to others…and myself. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I feel every single example you listed…times 100 most days. As I’m Reading this post right now, it’s almost 5am and I’m sitting on my front step where my Jace took his last breath 1 year ago today. I feel like I deserve my moment right now. Although I say I feel every example you listed, some days I have no choice but to hold myself together, some days it hurts too much to bear a breakdown (hard to explain that one) and some days I find it hard to be gentle with myself when others expect more than I can give. I know my pain is as unique as we are individual but…no one, and I mean no one!…had the bond and special relationship like mine and Jace. I am grateful for that but, it’s like the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow and evil curse all in one. I was blessed with a child who had the most beautiful, unbiased soul…who cared and gave too much to the wrong people, who loved each of us with his entire being for 25 years. And just like that…gone. No one loved me like my Jace.

    Liked by 1 person

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