
How often do you hear someone say, “Just let it go”?
As if was easy that easy to “Just let it go”.
You don’t just snap your fingers, or make up your mind. The feelings that you have won’t just quietly lie down. The don’t just frizzle out and, no, they don’t just disappear.
And that’s why this trite phrase tends to annoy me so much.
If you try to block emotions and pretend they aren’t there, you will not solve the problem for the issue’s unaddressed. The feelings are still there – even if they’re underground.
For your feelings are designed to alert you to the fact that something isn’t right: that you’ve been wronged, or you’ve been hurt.
That matters – and it should.
And it is right to feel upset.
What to do About it?
If you can’t “Just let it go” what can you, maybe, do instead?
You can do the opposite. Yes, you allow yourself to feel. You process the emotions by sitting with the pain. You give them dignity, and you invite them to speak up.
Why?
The feelings must move through you if they’re going to be released. So acknowledge how you’re feeling. Don’t deny the way things are.
The Process
You notice what you’re feeling, and describe the way you feel. For example, your fingers might be tingling, or your stomach might feel rough.
It’s going to take time. For sure, this won’t be a quick fix. But it’s all part of the process of releasing intense pain.
Why is this Effective?
The reason is you’ve honoured all the trauma you’ve lived through. And now it’s integrated. It is part of who you are.
No, we can’t “Just let it go”. There are clear steps we need to take. But by doing this hard work, you’ll find you’re able to get free.
A great post. A reminder that : ‘Just let it go ‘ is a trite phrase that annoys trauma survivors. Thanks so much for pointing this out. ⚘🤗
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Thanks Sally! I’m sure we would all just let it go if we could. It’s not a lack of desire, or some kind of stubbornness, that keeps us stuck 🙂
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So true. Thanks for your insight. ⚘
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Reblogged this on Ken's Devotions.
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Thanks Kenneth!
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♥️
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Awesome reminder! Self-care is what it’s all about! Thank you so much for posting. ❤
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment Cherie. Have a great week 🙂
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You too, sweetie! ❤
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I think it is at these times that one realises who their friends are and who they can do without 😅. For somebody who feels their emotions, to be around somebody who is dismissive of them is torture.
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Yes, that’s definitely true Robin. Thanks for reading and adding your thoughts.
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Beautiful blog
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Thank you so much!
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Reblogged this on Survivors Blog Here Mental Health Collaborative .
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Beautiful
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Just get over it and Just let go are to statements that really upset me. The words really minimize the pain of others and will leave them with a false impression of what happened to them is not that bad. All the while they are in desperate need of someone to hear their pain. Thank you! for writing this article.
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Thanks for taking the time to read and add such a thoughtful comment. I feel exactly the same way. You don’t just get over things. No matter how hard you try. No matter how much you wish you could. Perhaps this is our psyche’s way of telling us we matter, and what happens to us matters.
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I agree with the premise of your discussion. For the menial things in life, we can usually find a way to “just let go.” With emotion-filled situations, there needs to be time to process our grieving.
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Yes, some things are easier to let go than others.
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Yep. Gotta go through it – can’t just go around it. When it comes to forgiveness, sure…let it go. When it comes to life, you gotta live it and be an active participant.
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Thanks for the comment Lindsey. Yes, we need to be active participants in our own lives 😊
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A great post without any doubt.
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Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!
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Beautiful and true. Your observation has a universal impact. It is taking ownership for what happened to us and redesigning/reimagining the same.
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Thanks for sharing this Saji. Much appreciated 😊
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