10 Signs you may be Carrying Unresolved Trauma

Some symptoms of unresolved trauma include:

1. You find it hard to experience joy. You want to feel alive and experience joy, but somehow that feeling continually eludes you

2. You fill up your life with distractions. Whether it’s binge-watching TV, or it’s snacking when you’re stressed … There’s always a way of avoiding painful feelings – for staying in the present feels too scary and hard.

3. You’re afraid of your emotions for they feel out of control. They hit you unexpectedly, and feel so intense. Or, you may find it hard to feel anything at all.

4. It’s impossible to turn your mind off. You’re always on alert. You never reach that place of calm. You’re always vigilant because you know things can go wrong.  

5. You’re afraid to trust anyone at all. You would love to be able to fully trust again. To take down the walls and be vulnerable and real. But it’s never going to happen as the risk is too great.  

6. You’re constantly berating, and putting yourself down. To the outside world you may appear confident. You look like a person with a healthy self-esteem. But behind the scenes you’re always putting yourself down, and you feel like you’re flawed, and will never make the mark.

7. You give to other people, and are there for them, but you find it very hard to get help for yourself. You don’t believe that others will really understand, or will really want to help, and be there for you.

8. Your potential remains dormant as you always doubt yourself. You fear you won’t succeed or will fail at what you try. So, in the end, you just don’t try, or you self-sabotage.  

9. Life feels like a struggle, and it never eases up. Everything is so much effort. Everything feels difficult. It takes everything you’ve got to just make it through the day.

10. You feel like a fraud, like you’re wearing a disguise. It’s like you dupe the world by this act – which is your life. So the praises and the compliments can’t penetrate your heart – despite the fact you know that they’re genuinely meant.

When we free ourselves from the imprint of past trauma, we can invite far greater closeness, aliveness and possibility into our lives.”

  • Lisa Bowker

40 thoughts on “10 Signs you may be Carrying Unresolved Trauma

  1. Thank you for sharing. I carried emotional childhood trauma for decades. It wasn’t til recently, I decided that I had to let it all out and full heal. It wasn’t easy and after a lot of crying and meditation and prayer oh and therapy I’m getting through it. I pray others can do the same when they are ready. Xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    • A lot of the time we carry it without knowing it is even trauma; or without knowing how it is being worked out in our health, relationships and life decisions. A lot of the time we simply think there is nothing else to do but push it down, and push on with life. I’m so glad you’ve had help, and feel freer now … And thank you so much for sharing here. I really appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I feel that is a coping mechanism for many “pushing it down”, with hopes that it will just work itself out. Unfortunately that’s not the case if you want to fully heal and live free. It’s WORK but it’s WORTH THE WORK!!! Thanks again. Reading things of this nature is the main reason I started my blogging again. Xoxo. Have a great Day

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  2. Thank you for this important post. I see from this list that my son has unresolved trauma. We are low on money, is there a good self-help recommendation you could give or should I save up for formal counseling? I really want him to have a fuller life and really trust your judgment. Thank you, beautiful friend.♥️

    Liked by 1 person

    • If you are going to pay for therapy, it’s really important you find a therapist who has training in trauma. There are lots of books that share crucial insights/ increase our knowledge and give strategies that an help. Perhaps I’ll do a post of recommendations. Being there for him so he knows he can always talk if he wants to, and conveying to him lovely he is as a person (how unique and special) really helps a lot. I’m pretty sure you do those things already. I’d be interested to see if any other parents share their feedback …

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      • Thank you so much for this thoughtful and helpful answer. Would love a recommendations post and am sure others would also find it helpful. I will do therapy as soon as I can afford it and will do anything helpful meanwhile. So glad you are so brilliant on the subject and loving to share your insights. Thank you and God bless you, my friend.😃♥️

        Liked by 1 person

      • The hardest thing of all is to see our kids suffer. It’s heart-wrenching. I’ve been there 😦
        I know how deeply you love kids and am pretty sure that alone makes all the difference in the world. Just being a constant loving presence – and someone who genuinely believes in him – will be therapeutic. Take care, Tonya 🙂

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      • Thank you so much. You understand better than most. It is heart-warming. I am in his corner and I believe that helps and of course God helps us both. Will love to see him thrive at life someday, looking forward to it. Love you, sister and friend.😃♥️

        Liked by 1 person

    • It’s great that you are aware of some of these things. That’s half the battle. And great that you are working on them too. Honestly, it isn’t easy … but every step you take is worth it! Thanks for taking the time to comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Number 6 is a whopper for me. I’m a bit of a “Boy Scout” who wants to always be prepared for anything. “Don’t take yourself so seriously,” is a great mantra for us “everything has to be perfect” types.

    Great list!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I came back and read this more fully. I really believe the universe is trying to tell me something this morning because I’ve read a lot of blogs with this sort of theme..and yes, I can identify with many of these if not most.

    Liked by 1 person

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