10 Signs you may be Carrying Unresolved Trauma

Some symptoms of unresolved trauma include:

1. You find it hard to experience joy. You want to feel alive and experience joy, but somehow that feeling continually eludes you

2. You fill up your life with distractions. Whether it’s binge-watching TV, or it’s snacking when you’re stressed … There’s always a way of avoiding painful feelings – for staying in the present feels too scary and hard.

3. You’re afraid of your emotions for they feel out of control. They hit you unexpectedly, and feel so intense. Or, you may find it hard to feel anything at all.

4. It’s impossible to turn your mind off. You’re always on alert. You never reach that place of calm. You’re always vigilant because you know things can go wrong.  

5. You’re afraid to trust anyone at all. You would love to be able to fully trust again. To take down the walls and be vulnerable and real. But it’s never going to happen as the risk is too great.  

6. You’re constantly berating, and putting yourself down. To the outside world you may appear confident. You look like a person with a healthy self-esteem. But behind the scenes you’re always putting yourself down, and you feel like you’re flawed, and will never make the mark.

7. You give to other people, and are there for them, but you find it very hard to get help for yourself. You don’t believe that others will really understand, or will really want to help, and be there for you.

8. Your potential remains dormant as you always doubt yourself. You fear you won’t succeed or will fail at what you try. So, in the end, you just don’t try, or you self-sabotage.  

9. Life feels like a struggle, and it never eases up. Everything is so much effort. Everything feels difficult. It takes everything you’ve got to just make it through the day.

10. You feel like a fraud, like you’re wearing a disguise. It’s like you dupe the world by this act – which is your life. So the praises and the compliments can’t penetrate your heart – despite the fact you know that they’re genuinely meant.

“When we free ourselves from the imprint of past trauma, we can invite far greater closeness, aliveness and possibility into our lives.”

• Lisa Bowker