The Painful Art of Letting Go

“Fruit drops from the tree when it is ready. Staying too long, or moving too early, misses the mark … The process has its own timing, and it creates changes in your life when those changes need to happen.”

-Gary Zukav

Here are a few thoughts on letting go:

1.Letting go is a process. Yes, it may begin with a decision we make, and often there will be a desire to move on. But that is just the very start of the journey. The road is long and winding, and it’s unpredictable.

2. You can trust the process. You mind knows how to heal and protect itself. Allow it to guide you – though it won’t always make sense. It knows what it is doing; you can trust your intuition.

3. You might feel really bad, and you may struggle to let go. There are reasons why we struggle to let go, and then move on.  It involves some major losses – things we didn’t want to lose.  

4. Celebrate the changes, and the signs that you are healing. It can help if you look back, so you can see how far you’ve come. It can help to motivate you, and inspire you to keep going. 

5. Expect to stand still, and to regress from time to time. This is absolutely normal, and it happens to us all. It is always three steps forward … then a few steps back again. Don’t start to feel discouraged. Just expect that this will happen.

6. If you’re letting go of a relationship, identify the reasons why you feel you must move on. Try to focus on the facts, and not the strong, negative feelings. For example … How were you being treated? What was toxic about that? What do you deserve? What do you need most from a partner?  These can help you to see why it’s better to let go.

7. Make room for something new, or someone new in your life. If you don’t feel you are ready, put this thought on hold for now. But eventually you’ll want to find and have a different future. That future could be better than the life you have at present.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.”

 – Joseph Campbell