Taking Care Of Me

“I can cut you off and still love you.

I can stop speaking to you, and still care for you.

I can let you go, and still wish you the best.

If I leave you alone, it’s not to be bitter or petty.

If I leave you alone, it’s for my own good.

If I let you go, it’s so that I can accept still being able to love you

whilst also knowing I can be happy without you.”

These are courageous words.

Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves, is to withdraw from a relationship. Whether it’s from a partner, a spouse, or a friend … sometimes we just need to walk away.

It can be for a while; it doesn’t have to be forever. But for now, you need your space. You need a boundary in place.

And who really knows want you’ll want later on. It’s much too early to play that guessing game.

Right now, you need the freedom to simply be yourself. To get back in touch with the person you have lost.

You need the room to breathe.

You need the room to just be you.

You are doing what is right: you are taking care of you.   

31 thoughts on “Taking Care Of Me

  1. Yes, I agree with Gibberish, these are incredibly beautiful words… I would imagine the hardest part initially is the saying goodbye and how one chooses to say goodbye.

    A goodbye is painful in and of itself… So how one says goodbye is important right? it can be a goodbye done with the care and affection for a friend one loves, or a sudden sharp piercing cold cut as one would an enemy one despises.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Very beautiful message and remember you can cut the cords and burn them to the parts of the relationship you no longer wish to be drawn into and let it go. Feel the energy within you increase. You still remain on friend terms if you wish or cut and close for good if this is what you need.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Puzzles of the Soul. I like the comment you make about needing to make a break with things you no longer want to be drawn into. Sometimes we get drawn into very destructive cycles and patterns that we need to break if the relationship is going to survive.

      Liked by 2 people

      • A break for reflection, healing, and addressing the problems that caused the need for separation can sometimes be a crucial component needed for a pivotal turning point in the relationship for something more beautiful to blossom… it can be an opportunity for the recipient of the goodbye to step back and evaluate what the real issues were that caused the separation needing to be addressed. and a time to work on potential solutions if the relationship is important and the person who left is willing to give them another chance…

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Agreed. Sometimes people just need a break from each other. However, it is important to do what the person in the quote did: tell the other person what you are backing off and why. Of course, if there has been any kind of abuse, just get out. However, walking away without talking about it amounts to ghosting, and this is not good for any relationship.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, especially if you think may want the relationship to continue, and if it’s a marriage or intimate relationship.
      Of course, there are times when that kind of occasion will lead to the kind of outburst or show down that you can’t handle, as well. In that case, it might be more helpful put something in writing and leave a note.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Marriage or intimate relationship goodbyes/separation are especially difficult – whether temporary or permanent – because there is so much tied to something else on top of the pain of the goodbye. So it is important that both parties feel safe in knowing that the other person is listening from a place of love and empathy, not defensiveness.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, I completely agree. It can be hard to hear clearly in those situations as there is so much pain, and so what is said can easily become distorted. Love, empathy… and not defensiveness … are so important

        Liked by 1 person

      • … I agree Don’tLoseHope… distortion is further amplified if there is previous bad experiences that resemble the one at present… and even more so amplified by the chosen method of communication. The further away from real & in person the communication method, the greater the potential for distortion has been my experience… even for those who really care about each other and want that connection.

        I can personally attest to the quality of a relationship I treasure doing very well with much/regular face to face communication, but then declined with less face to face shift to more email correspondences for example. The time in between seeing each other, coupled with having to filter what I read by email through my mind of trauma and bad experiences negatively impacted that relationship. Because I didn’t always think to remind myself to read the emails from the voice of the actual sender – someone whom I loved and who loved me.

        This is just for me to share my actual experience on why I sincerely believe face to face goodbyes from a place of love compassion honesty and empathy between two people who care about each other would be much less distorted especially if either/both of these people have experienced something similar in the past to be able to see that this is not the same thing, not the same people, not the same situation.

        Liked by 1 person

    • This is a very good point David. A point I didn’t consider but is worth addressing/considering. It’s important that both sides – the person saying goodbye and the one being told goodbye – are able to feel free enough to express their thoughts and feelings without the fear of manipulation… but their true feelings not be silenced out of fear of coming across as manipulative.

      Would a self assessment and acknowledgement of the potential for manipulation by the recipient of the message, along with the disclaimer of freedom to the one leaving to know that the one being left is not trying to manipulate the one leaving? and that the one being told goodbye love and respect the one leaving enough to allow them to be free to go and take care of themselves and make the best decision for themselves regardless of how the one being told goodbye may feel?

      Like

    • Yes, and that is so sad. At the end of the day, we are each responsible for the choices we make, and we cannot rescue our children, no matter how much we love them. Thanks for adding your thoughtful comments. Hope you had a lovely Christmas.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Christmas is always joyful in a spiritual sense. Unfortunately, the illness of loved ones cast a shadow this year. Of course, my family was not alone in this. May God grant us all a better New Year. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m so sorry Anna. Yes, there is always a joy when we contemplate the true meaning behind Christmas but sickness certainly casts a long shadow. I hope your family members make a full recovery, and you all experience the strength you need at this difficult time.

        Liked by 1 person

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