Finding your Happy

Christmas is meant to be a time of joy – but for so many people that isn’t the case. It’s a painful reminder of what has gone wrong. Or perhaps your life sucks, and you’re feeling depressed.

So what can you do when it’s hard to find joy? There’s no easy answer – but the following might just help:

1. Make the effort to slow down, and allow yourself to breath. Find a pace of life that is comfortable for you. And don’t agree to do more than you really want to do.

2. Look around and notice all the beauty in the world. Glistening, sparkly frost. Fresh, powdery snow. Cute, excited children. Pretty Christmas trees. Paying attention to this can help to lift your mood. It’s also a great way to practice mindfulness – as helps you to focus on the here-and-now.

3. Be aware of all the little things that bring you joy. A waft of coffee. Some candles in the dark. The welcoming warmth when you come in from the cold. Write it in your journal; take a photograph; hold it in your memory, and try to capture it.

4. Although it might hard to be thankful at this time, try to think about 3 things you are grateful for each day. 

5. Listening to some music can help to soothe our mood, or distract us for a while – so we think of other things.

6. Revisit the small victories you’ve managed to achieve. Perhaps you’ve found the strength to write an email to a friend. Perhaps you just got dressed, or you cooked a proper meal. Just noticing these acts can remind you that you’re strong.    

7. If you can’t feel joy right now – for the present’s full of pain – try to think about a time when you did experience joy. Reliving happy times can remind us of the good. 

Of course, trying to find joy doesn’t mean that life will change. It’s not that you’re naïve, or OK with what’s gone wrong. The facts are still the facts, and reality’s the same. But it might help ease the pain, and increase your sense of hope.

Joy, collected over time, fuels resilience.” – Brene Brown

12 thoughts on “Finding your Happy

  1. Good words to inspire. Even though you feel alone, I often was hesitant to go out but when I pushed myself a little and go to a cafe or restaurant and look at the other people who were supposed to be happy at these times. I notice families who were in disagreement, badly behaved children ruining the day and was happy that this was not me. I had nobody who wanted to argue or children who did not know how to behave. I was peacefully enjoying my treat in my own peaceful world. Bless everyone at this time of year.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. Sometimes everything feels negative, and it can be hard to see anything to be happy or thankful about. As you point out, when we feel like that the smallest victory or positive change counts, and can change our mood. Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂


  2. No. 3 is my favorite. I’m going to employ it — and try to remember it well enough to make it a year-round routine. Thank you, Bella! ✨💕✨


  3. These are some great suggestions for finding joy during the holidays.
    This time of year is hard for me: both my parents are in heaven and our adult sons live far away. Due to COVID, we will not be making the frozen trek to Montana to visit our family this year.
    The quote by Brene’ Brown is a good one; I hadn’t seen it before.
    Perhaps the first step is to DECIDE that we are going to find SOME joy during this holiday season—no matter how small.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for sharing this David. It’s certainly going to be a very different Christmas, and a very difficult one for many. The majority of my family are in the UK, including a daughter and son-in-law, and our other daughter lives in another province. At least we have the ski slopes to enjoy 🙂


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