Sometimes a loss is most keenly felt by the absence of something else.
An empty chair at a table for two, is a symbol and reminder that we’re now on our own.
A bare third finger when a ring has been removed reminds of commitments that are no longer there.
The silence in the room – no more laughter and loud screams – remind us of the family that use to fill this space.
The closet that looks empty and the carpet that is clean both testify to change, and to lives that have moved on.
When those losses hit with force, we’re reminded of good times and are conscious, once again, of the hole they’ve left behind.
If you’re in that place today, then allow yourself to grieve.
There’s no shame in being sad when you’re struggling with loss.
And that wrenching pain you feel – it reminds you that you cared
That you opened up your heart
… And you miss the life you had.
Beautiful. I remember so well the great pit of emptiness that opened up after my husband walked away and when my sister and Mum died.. Grievjng felt hard but it was the best way to open my heart Thank you for this 💙
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One of those losses would be hard for anyone to cope with …. but the 3 together in close succession is extremely hard to bear. I think I would want to crawl under a rock and hide from all the unbearable pain. It’s really good that you were able to allow yourself to grieve. Thanks for sharing from your experience XXX
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Bless you.. I got better at it after getting sober and struggling to have my grief validated.. When my sister died I could let it all flow out and when family told me stupid stuff like “she is in a better place’ and “she wouldn’t want you to be sad” I could blow it off.. I thank God for my therapist though. Hugs..
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I still grieve my old self before i got sick. It’s a common thing for chronic illness people.
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That really makes sense to me. It must be so hard to come to terms with, and integrate, the loss of your health – because it affects almost everything. I imagine I would feel as if I was no longer allowed to be me 😦 Thanks for sharing this, Looking for the Light.
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Lovely compassionate words. Sending light and Peace Sir 😔
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Reblogged this on Survivors Blog Here Mental Health Collaborative .
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I agree. We are allowed to grieve and we do not have to be strong all the time.
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Yes, we need to give ourselves permission to feel weak at times. Thanks for commenting 😊
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I wonder why society puts vulnerability on a negative light when it is the wellspring of good things.
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That’s a very good question!
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I recently lost my 25 year old, my oldest of 4 on Sept. 5. We were extremely close so I’m so heavily grieving. It’s so uncanny to come across this post today because I had a really tough morning. Almost 2 ago, my grief took a turn after finding out her death was actually caused by someone who purposely caused her death and wasn’t just a relapse. I found out because FBI detectives are investigating it. I knew something wasn’t right….now I know. I just don’t know how I’m ever going to get through this. So much of me died with her that morning and everyday gets harder.
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Gosh I’m so sorry Aimee. What a terrible tragedy. Such an unbearable pain. I can’t even begin to imagine what you must go through on a daily basis. I wish I had the words to express my heartfelt sympathy. I am the mother of a 25 year old daughter too ….
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I understand the numbness one feels deep inside when a relationship ends or a loved one passes. Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks for sharing this. It’s a difficult experience.
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