Measuring Up

We live in a world full of comparisons.

Does she have a sexier figure than me? Does she look younger, or better for her age? Is she so much smarter? Have a better career? Do people think that she is funnier than me?

I suspect it all begins in the early years of life when we start fighting hard to get our parents’ attention.

But it’s a process that continues for the rest of our life.

And it’s a process that leads to insecurity, as well.

For at any point in time we could cease to measure up – and we could lose the affection of those who matter most.

Like our family, or close friends.

Like our partner, or our spouse.

Yet each of us is different – individual and unique.

And we start to lose ourselves when we make comparisons.

But comparing’s so ingrained, such a feature of our lives, that it’s hard to switch it off. To stop weighing up our worth.

Yet we cannot love ourselves if we reject part of ourselves.

If we always see some defect, or we view ourselves as flawed.

And those differences in outlook, in personality, in interests and experiences, in qualities and looks, are what make us so unique.


Not a clone.

And being youjust you it’s a gift you give the world.

You touch and nourish lives in an individual way.

If only you could see that this person who is ‘you’ is precious as you are.

You don’t need to strive, or change.

You are free to be yourself.

There is no need to compare.

Comparison is an act of violence against the self.” – Iyanla Vanzant

9 thoughts on “Measuring Up

  1. “For at any point in time we could cease to measure up – and we could lose the affection of those who matter most.”

    Jesus christ… 😐. Surely those who truly have affection wouldn’t do that?

    I guess, in my situation, I’ve never had affection from most of my family. I have one reliable brother I have a good connection with, and it’s for sure unconditional. I guess I have this absolutist view, where I ultimately cut out people who would lack integrity or be unhealthy. And if it’s family members acting that way, for me that just makes it even worse and less understandable.

    I guess I had to find role models elsewhere— where there was only one-way communication so the only person judging me who mattered to me was me. This absolutist view confounded my school efforts lol since I felt no obligation to do anything I didn’t want to.

    I can see how horrible all of this pressure would be, though. Especially with social media and the amount of comparison on there. I do wish more people could just… cut these things out when they start to get unhealthy. It just seems so easy to do. And I hate the pressure on kids with school etc.


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