Ah, that little voice inside your head …

“You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of you.”

Typically, we think of self-care as being things like getting enough sleep, having a healthy diet, getting regular exercise, spending time with friends, and setting aside time for rest and relaxation.

But there’s another vital area – one less frequently discussed. This is paying close attention to our thoughts and beliefs.

These are easy to uncover if we look at our self-talk.

It’s what we say to ourselves … about ourselves.

And often this is negative, especially when we’re stressed.

What about you?

So, what kinds of things do you say to yourself?

The kinds of thoughts that many women seem to struggle with include:

“I hate my body.”

“I hate the way I look.”

“I wish I had bigger/ smaller boobs.”

“I wish I was taller/ shorter”

“I wish I had a different type/ colour of hair/ could do something with my hair.”

“I wish I could lose those excess pounds.”

“I don’t look good in anything.”

“Why would anyone want to be with me.”

“I wish I was funnier/ had a better personality.”

“I wish I wasn’t so emotional.”

You get the gist. The list goes on and on ….

The impact of betrayal

Of course, this list of negatives, and our innate tendency to put ourselves down, is intensified – and really gets a grip – when we’ve experienced betrayal.

After all, we were rejected. So, isn’t that the proof?

No, this actually says nothing at all about you.

It says absolutely nothing.

Believe me, it says nada.

All it says is that your partner or your spouse had major issues, including with commitment, and telling you the truth.

Revisiting self-care

So, going back to self-care, and how you talk to yourself …

Perhaps it’s time to think more about this ….

And to consciously silence that voice in your head when it starts to say something that is critical or cruel.

This is not self-indulgence.

It is self-preservation.

And you it owe to yourself to take care of you.