“You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of you.”
Typically, we think of self-care as being things like getting enough sleep, having a healthy diet, getting regular exercise, spending time with friends, and setting aside time for rest and relaxation.
But there’s another vital area – one less frequently discussed. This is paying close attention to our thoughts and beliefs.
These are easy to uncover if we look at our self-talk.
It’s what we say to ourselves … about ourselves.
And often this is negative, especially when we’re stressed.
What about you?
So, what kinds of things do you say to yourself?
The kinds of thoughts that many women seem to struggle with include:
“I hate my body.”
“I hate the way I look.”
“I wish I had bigger/ smaller boobs.”
“I wish I was taller/ shorter”
“I wish I had a different type/ colour of hair/ could do something with my hair.”
“I wish I could lose those excess pounds.”
“I don’t look good in anything.”
“Why would anyone want to be with me.”
“I wish I was funnier/ had a better personality.”
“I wish I wasn’t so emotional.”
You get the gist. The list goes on and on ….
The impact of betrayal
Of course, this list of negatives, and our innate tendency to put ourselves down, is intensified – and really gets a grip – when we’ve experienced betrayal.
After all, we were rejected. So, isn’t that the proof?
No, this actually says nothing at all about you.
It says absolutely nothing.
Believe me, it says nada.
All it says is that your partner or your spouse had major issues, including with commitment, and telling you the truth.
Revisiting self-care
So, going back to self-care, and how you talk to yourself …
Perhaps it’s time to think more about this ….
And to consciously silence that voice in your head when it starts to say something that is critical or cruel.
This is not self-indulgence.
It is self-preservation.
And you it owe to yourself to take care of you.
Excellent post !
Negative self- talk hurts us.
Often it arises out of comparing ourselves to others.
We are all God’s unique creations.
Let us speak kindly yo others, and let us also speak kindly to ourselves. 🌷🤗
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What a beautiful comment. Thanks so much for your sharing those thoughts, sally 🙂
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Love this. It’s something I’m trying to notice and change at the moment.
Take care of yourself
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Thank you for that lovely comment. Take care too 🙂
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Thank you for the reminder 🙂. I’ve been having some success lately with cutting down on negative self-talk :).
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Wonderful post!
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Thanks for the kind comment. Glad you enjoyed it 😊
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Seems basic and oh so logical to be kind to us. It’s so much harder than you expect. Am currently coaching my brother through this, and he’s going so well ❤
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I feel so sorry for your brother. He’s been through a lot – but great that he has you there for support and he’s in a better place. It’s almost as if the worse we are treated, the more we believe the lies, and the harder it is to see the good in ourselves.
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