We’re in this Together

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Being part of a group of betrayed partners and spouses was nothing I envisioned in a million years. For who of us expects to be betrayed by their spouse, or expects to be married to a sex addict? It’s not the kind of thing you ever think or dream about. And it’s not the kind of thing you really want to talk about.

In fact, you think you must be starring in some other person’s life – for you simply can’t believe that this is happening to you. It’s scary, and it’s crazy, and it cuts you to the heart. And that’s why it’s so important to encounter wives like you.

A community of women who are walking this road, too. And a group of shell-shocked women who just get what you’re going through. It becomes a kind of life-line for these women understand. There is no need to explain things. It is obvious to them.

You can feel the deep compassion. And you know they’ve struggled too with the unanswerable questions and the overwhelming pain. We are all disorientated. We all wish that it would end. We all struggle with deep feelings. We’ve all hate this is our life.

But there’s also strength and hope from those who’re further down the road. They’re real about it all, and never hide what it’s been like. You know they’ve had low lows, and they’ve been desperate just like you. But they’ve survived and made it – so, perhaps, there’s hope for you.

So, thank you to each woman who has opened up and shared. We’re thankful you’re there for us. You’ve enabled us to cope.

5 thoughts on “We’re in this Together

  1. Curious how you found a group of knowing women to travel with? That was THE most challenging aspects for me. Fortunately, I found a group who met through ZOOM on-line. It has since dissolved, but I keep in touch with two women who I’ve met in person, too, and I’ve found other women in virtual-land who are part of the tribe.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve come across a lot of women through word press. I found I resonated with many of their posts. I’ve also got to know a few of them by commenting and dialoguing with them. I was also part a group I googled and found online. Sadly, there was nothing really suitable in my local community. In some ways that felt too risky anyway … I prefer being part of an online group.

      Liked by 1 person

      • On-line does appear to be more accessible and safe, for sure, since access can be world-wide. It’s so sad, really, for me and for so many, that this very common, widespread problem is tucked away and not addressed for the betrayed women. AA is common, even in small towns. Betrayed women seem to hide in shame. I feel badly for them. I didn’t do that. I kept seeking and found some people – a few groups – actually another group for a year on-line – structured curriculum, and such. But it seems like most just don’t address it (WHERE ARE THEY?). MY husband certainly wants to sweep it all under the rug. I don’t live that way.

        Liked by 1 person

      • You’re right that so many betrayed spouses find they have absolutely no-one to turn to and end up bearing the burden alone. It’s such a taboo topic, and one associated with incredible (and undeserved) shame. I’m glad you found the support you needed. That is really important. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here too 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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