Often Christmas is equated with love. The love of our families. The love of close friends. And falling in love … and the glitter and hearts. We say that it’s cheesy; but it still resonates. Because deep down inside we all want to feel loved.
And here’s the dilemma if you’ve now been betrayed and discovered your partner is addicted to sex. You know in your mind that it’s not about you. But that’s not how it feels. You feel worthless and crushed.
If you choose someone else to undress or to touch then I don’t feel I’m special. I’m just one of a bunch.
If you’re willing to ignore the commitment you made then I don’t feel I’m valued – for you’ll lie to my face.
If you don’t care you’ll hurt me or put me at risk, then I don’t feel I matter – despite what you say.
Is it so hard to see why our self-esteem’s dashed when the message we get is “I don’t care for you”?
Yes, I accept your behaviour says more about you. That you’re damaged and, somehow, don’t know how to love. But my head and my heart can say two different things. And I still really wish I felt special and loved.