Oh My Gosh! Will this Never End?

I think recovery from anything.png

Do you ever wonder if you’ll ever recover? Do you sometimes despair of the roller-coaster ride?

If you do, then you’re normal. It is what we all go through when we’ve been traumatized, and experienced betrayal.

What should you expect when you’re trying to recover?

  • Triggers happen all the time, and they happen unexpectedly.
  • You’ll have flashbacks, broken sleep and anxiety attacks.
  • You will lose your motivation and your zest for life.
  • You will cry and feel depressed a lot of the time.
  • You will feel you’ve lost your smile, and your sense of humour.
  • You might feel like you are starting to be yourself again – and then you have a meltdown, and you’re back at ground zero.
  • You’ll have powerful thoughts and feelings that will shock and frighten you.
  • You will feel ashamed of your feelings and reactions.
  • You will constantly wish that you could put the past behind you.
  • You will long for the days when life was simple, good and happy.
  • You will feel mad as Hell for the way that you were treated, and for the way that it has damaged and wounded you.
  • You will have low self-esteem … and then rebound and feel indignant … and demand that you’re respected, and are valued in the future.
  • You will find it hard to trust, and believe in love again.
  • You will feel sick and tired of this roller-coaster ride

It’s a long and painful journey that never seems to end.  You think you’re getting better – and then you find you’re triggered.

But eventually you’ll notice that there is some kind of progress. It’s tentative and fragile. But, still, it gives you hope.

 

13 thoughts on “Oh My Gosh! Will this Never End?

  1. Humans are made like that..they can overcome any sorrow.or we would not have been able to move on after the death of our parents or other loved ones.we mourn for a period if time and then get busy with the routine o life and that is when the healing begins..

    Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you for the kind response. I’m experiencing it now and the feeling “will this never end”? Intellectually yes, I know it will end—one way or another—it will end. And I accept that I also had a part to play in starting the process. I made mistakes too which I can’t take back—I can only learn from them. I would say and do things so very differently now.

        25 years together is a long time to hope the pain will end and healing can begin. Now I just hope for his best which really is just a ‘wish’ for him…I have my life to live and my own broken-heart to heal. I’ve got my own work to do. We couldn’t do it together—“love heals all” seems like such a sweet naive idealistic fairytale—two young messed kids ‘in love’ boldly taking on the world together…
        If it was love, it was unhealthy from the start. And I knew it.

        But, I do believe we tried our best with what we had and where we were in life. He had his baggage—I had mine. And we did grow—in many ways—‘apart’ just being one of them.

        So here I am right now stuck in the middle of somewhere between I can’t go back to him or move forward with him. Alone…but also excited to begin a new relationship with myself first. As it should be.

        Yes, reading this post today is most helpful—I’m not crazy like he claims. I may have lost hope on ‘us’, but not on ‘me’ or even ‘him’. I do hope he finds real peace inside. Me too. This would make for a much happier world.

        Liked by 1 person

      • 25 years is a long time, and it makes recovery slow and painful. I really feel for you. Taking care of yourself first is the right thing to do. I’m so glad you are consciously making this choice. Yes, it is a roller coaster ride, and the pain seems to go on forever at times. It does get better – but slowly, over time.
        Thanks for reading the post, and for taking the time to share from your experience too.

        Like

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