Everybody has that well-meaning friend who quickly and frequently offers advice. The kind of advice you could well do without.
You’ve discovered your husband has had an affair, or is addicted to sex or pornography? Well, she knows the reasons. She’s an expert of course. And, of course, she’s an expert on what to do next.
Has she sat by your side? Has she wept as you’ve shared? Has she listened to hear just how awful you feel? Can you tell that she’s hurting because of your pain – the shock, the rejection, and sorrow you feel? Has she just let you talk, or be silent, or cry? Does she seem lost for words – for she’s horrified too?
If not, then avoid her. She’s not what you need.
And then there’s the friend who appears lost for words. She wants to convey that her heart’s broken, too. She’d love to say something. But nothing can help. Yet, she tenderly listens, and weep while you weep.
You know that she cares, and is offering her strength. A presence that tells you: “I’m in this with you.”
And though she says nothing, you feel the pain ease. This friendship is healing. A gift beyond words.