The Reverberating Pain of Betrayal

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Who of us hasn’t been there?

The day is going well and you are feeling quiet and calm. Then out of the blue you start to sense a deep unease. The terror starts to surface and engulfs your mind again. Your heart is racing wildly, and you’re feeling terrified.

But what if things are not exactly as they seem to be? What if you’ve been deceived, and he’s returned to his old ways? What if those sincere promises are just another lie? What if he cannot do it, and your trust has been misplaced?

Or, you see a happy couple who are in the throes of love. You wonder “Will they make it? Will their early love survive? Will they retell our story? Will they know betrayal too?” You feel a stab of pain for you had had high hopes like them.

Or, a friend puts up a post about their anniversary. Their love has grown and deepened; they’ve been faithful through the years. They haven’t known the trauma of infidelity. It breaks your heart to read it – but you “like” it just the same.

I think that betrayed partners never have the peace of mind that faithful couples know – because they haven’t been decieved. I wonder if it’s possible to fully trust again. To not feel anxious, worried, or to live with disturbed sleep.

I wish we could be carefree. That we never had a doubt. But that may be a pipe dream – for betrayal changes us.

11 thoughts on “The Reverberating Pain of Betrayal

      • I have come across several people who cant end the relationship coz of societal pressures,financial dependence or kids future but dont feel loved in the relationship. Infact they are in loveless abusive relationship ..and unknowingly they come across somebody and cross the line.I think people in such situations are not to be blamed entirely and their spouses cannot complain as they didnt bother about it when they had the chance


      • Yes, I think those are very different scenarios. I completely agree that it is extremely painful (and potentially damaging) to be in a loveless relationship. Also, I never think it is a good idea to stay in an abusive relationship. You should leave for your own safety and wellbeing – and also because it isn’t healthy for the other person to pick up the message that they can abuse another person.


  1. I once heard in AA, “once you become a pickle you can’t go back to being a cucumber.” I feel it’s the exact same with being betrayed by my sex addict and other philandering partners through the years. Trust for me, just isn’t fully possible.

    Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

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