Who of us hasn’t been there?
The day is going well and you are feeling quiet and calm. Then out of the blue you start to sense a deep unease. The terror starts to surface and engulfs your mind again. Your heart is racing wildly, and you’re feeling terrified.
But what if things are not exactly as they seem to be? What if you’ve been deceived, and he’s returned to his old ways? What if those sincere promises are just another lie? What if he cannot do it, and your trust has been misplaced?
Or, you see a happy couple who are in the throes of love. You wonder “Will they make it? Will their early love survive? Will they retell our story? Will they know betrayal too?” You feel a stab of pain for you had had high hopes like them.
Or, a friend puts up a post about their anniversary. Their love has grown and deepened; they’ve been faithful through the years. They haven’t known the trauma of infidelity. It breaks your heart to read it – but you “like” it just the same.
I think that betrayed partners never have the peace of mind that faithful couples know – because they haven’t been decieved. I wonder if it’s possible to fully trust again. To not feel anxious, worried, or to live with disturbed sleep.
I wish we could be carefree. That we never had a doubt. But that may be a pipe dream – for betrayal changes us.